Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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