I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
