at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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