i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
