Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
