His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
