I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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