part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
