Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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