I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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