I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
