So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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