you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
