I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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