so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
