Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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