I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
