i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
