i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
