tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we're making bets on your personal life
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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