Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
