did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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