Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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