He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
