You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
