He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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