im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
