my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Randomize
