my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
