Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So. Much. Porn.
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