His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize