hell yes lets make some ravioli
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Randomize
