Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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