i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
