so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
