i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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