Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
