The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
