At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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