TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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