i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How external is "for external use only"?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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