so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
