How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
