I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
FUCK WHALES
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