he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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