clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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