check it out our google latitudes are spooning
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
