After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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