There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
