he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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