Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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