i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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