i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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