3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
