Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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