Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
