I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
