I cockslap morals
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
