THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize