it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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