who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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