yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
