Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
